Infinate Stars in the Sky

That's what life is. xxx rated. There is murder, blood, sex, and money. That's all the world seems to revolve around and it sucks. For every person killed, two are born in the place of it. No wonder we're overpopulated. Days go by and I wonder where they went and how old I will be in a couple of months. 20. I was just turning 18 only two years ago... I graduated two years ago... In June I will have my associates in Criminal Justice. Where did time go. Everyday seems to be smothering together. Wake up next to John, cook him breakfast before he goes to work, see him off, doodle online, do laundry, cook dinner, welcome John home, shower, sleep. Rinse and repeat. At least I'll be looking into school soon so that will help me out. I feel so pathetic. Like I have no life. Having what you want isn't all that. I have a car, laptop, education, the one I love, but my motivation seems to be drained. When will the day come that I can have that smile on my face again and actually mean it. Last time I really smiled it when John showed me the wedding ring I'm going to get one day. Yes, it was gorgeous, but I don't know if I will be a good, suited wife for him or if I'm going to mess everything up like I always seem to do. Sometimes I just don't know what to do anymore and its annoying.